Are wee feeling safe yet?

[Murray]

Now I've seen everything.
I might be wrong, but I suspect the politburo are just checking to make sure the brainwashing over the covid vaccines has not worn off.
I read that the UK's Dear Leader, Sir Care Startrooper, has announced that if you own a chicken, you must register it! A chicken!
We don't have to yet, but only because our revered supremo is undergoing treatment to have his foot removed from his mouth...again. Once he becomes aware of this wise and forward thinking legislation I am sure he will mangle it. I mean embrace it. Yes, embrace it.
I will happily register our chicken. I wonder if we get a discount as it is not actually a whole chicken as such. Okay it's a bag of frozen chicken portions. But rules is rules, and I don't want to be guilty of being in possession of an untaxed chook.
There would be a flyer arrive in every mail box with a picture of a non binary person holding a chicken. Zee/zir would be smiling. The chicken wouldn't be.
We would be told these measures were for our our own safety, or as The Nazis put it, Fur euer Sischerheits. There would also be a table of penalties should we fail to be made safe by these regulations.
It's all so progressive!

[Buster121]

Don't think your wrong Murray but not just a chicken any bird is on the list, wonder if the townies need reporting as well

[worm]

When you do not need to register
You do not need to register psittaciformes or passeriformes (such as budgies, parrots, cockatiels and finches) if they are both:

fully housed in a dwelling (your home or another indoor structure)
with no access to the open air
You do not need to register an exempt bird to visit a veterinary practice.

If your birds are taken outdoors at any time, for example to be exercised, trained, or taken to bird gatherings or shows, they must be registered.
every other bird has to be registered

[Andy]

Yes any bird not kept in a cage indoors, ie budgie, canary etc. I think if these are kept in an aviary outside they still have to be registered. Apparently all to do with bird flu. Another joke from DEFRA. £1,000 fine for those not applying.

[NeilA]

I worry now I’m registered about the lad behind me who has chickens what happens if he gets a positive and I’m only 15 yards from his chicken sheds could I now be instructed to cull my birds

[Murray]

As I read today, everyone in the UK should declare and register a chicken. One per house in the whole of the UK. Overwhelm them with chicken registrations. Then on a two to three week cycle register another chicken.
Just keep snowing them under until the Bolsheviks surrender.

[Murray]

Is it similar to a dog registration, where you have to provide a name and breed, etc? I once had a little greyhound bitch whose name was Bitch.
When I went to the council to pay my dog tax, which is all it is, I filled out the form and the council person refused to accept it.
She was not going to register a dog named Bitch. In fact she became highly agitated about it I told her that was the dog's name and was the name she answered to. Finally the queue behind me was growing, and she registered the dog.
Then I handed her the form for her brother, she looked at it and saw his name was Boy. As in "here Boy!"
She totally lost it....................
Not making it up. Boy raced as Gallant Man. Champion. 36 races. 18 wins 15 seconds 2 thirds and a forth.

[Murray]

So, maybe we could annoy the chook police by naming the chicken, ooh, maybe "Inspector Wilson", and just use the same name on every new iteration.
We may be the tail, but the tail can wag the dog....

[Andy]

I worry now I’m registered about the lad behind me who has chickens what happens if he gets a positive and I’m only 15 yards from his chicken sheds could I now be instructed to cull my birds

You won’t have to cull yours Neil. But you will be put on lockdown and won’t be able to let them out. This stopped many from racing for most of the season a couple of years back. There won’t be any allowed mixing of pigeons within a designated area. These can take weeks to be lifted as there is a period in which no more outbreaks can occur within that area, then after that the premises of any out break has to be fully disinfected before the ban is lifted.

[NeilA]

I worry now I’m registered about the lad behind me who has chickens what happens if he gets a positive and I’m only 15 yards from his chicken sheds could I now be instructed to cull my birds

You won’t have to cull yours Neil. But you will be put on lockdown and won’t be able to let them out. This stopped many from racing for most of the season a couple of years back. There won’t be any allowed mixing of pigeons within a designated area. These can take weeks to be lifted as there is a period in which no more outbreaks can occur within that area, then after that the premises of any out break has to be fully disinfected before the ban is lifted.

Thanks Andy I was worried as his are free range and obviously very close to mine